Welcome to the first posting in what will soon be the most valuable literary work in mankind's limited history of limited understanding! I'm not sure what subsequent posts will contain but I assure you they will be nothing short of bowel-expulsion greatness! I've decided to expand my medium: moving from drunken scrawls on receipts and take-out menus to some sort of lasting format here on the internets. I have uploaded my brain to cyberspace. It's a lot like that movie “The Lawnmower Man” but much more interesting and a hell of a lot less disappointing. At this point I might write something about myself but if you're actually still reading this, you're probably friend or family as no stranger would have made it past the first few sentences without thinking to themselves, “Fuck this ego-maniacal, self-praising genius! I've got better things to do with my time” *turns on American Gladiators*. I am not expecting any sort of congruency or correlation between postings here, this will pretty much be a creative literary playpen for the gnome that lives in my head and steals my thoughts.

mood: Mildly excited, entirely excitable